Author: paperprincesscarly

Amazingly Stupid Statements

I wish to dedicated this re-blogging to my Mom. Awesome.

The Honest Courtesan

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. –  Mark Twain

Though I suppose I should be used to it after all these years, I am still astonished by the incredibly stupid statements which are habitually made by opponents of prostitution.  Everyone makes stupid statements from time to time (and this writer is by no means an exception), but prohibitionists repeatedly and vociferously repeat the same asinine arguments over and over again, as though they were completely unaware of how ridiculous they sound.  Anyone’s brain can slip out of gear for long enough to make an embarrassing declaration, but the whore-burning crowd’s constant repetition of these same idiotic assertions indicates that they honestly feel them to be both valid and persuasive. Today I’d like to look at a few of them, in no particular…

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I see a few clients with beards. Let me just say, I think a good beard is sexy. What I’d like to know is, when a very bearded man goes down on a lady (bearded or plain) do the vaginal juices seep into his beard? And does one call it “Pussybeard”? As in, “No thanks man, I won’t have a lick of your cone, I got Pussybeard.”

What is the method of juice extraction? Do ya’ll shampoo and condition and detangle? Do you let it sit and stagnate before your next shower or do you try to wash it off right away? I’m wondering because sometimes a mustache is referred to a “soup strainer” and beards, like cleavage, often collect tid-bits. Is it a sort of prize/ spoils of war kind of deal, where you “save the smell” for later? Does the smell even stay around long?

Is there a rating scale? “I’ve got a level 5 Pussybeard today!” As in “I haven’t shampooed my facial hair in a week and have performed oral 5 times and its pungent!” A strong, beefy Pussybeard. Or is it more like a wine or scotch tasting? “Your Pussybeard’s musk is quite peaty.” “Very oaky with hints of cherry.”

If someone with a sexy beard could answer me re: the Pussybeard thing and/or if you have a better name for it, I’d like to know.


Your sexy pal,

Carly xo


I’m a pretty “real girl.” Real tits, real scars, real talk. I don’t wear a tonne of makeup. However, my eyebrows are fake. I have to paint them on and then, at the end of the night, I take them off. Here they are, for your viewing pleasure.


Can I Axe You a Question?

I have a question to all you part time hobbyists out there: do you know who you are talking to?

Often times I work phones for a Darling Toronto Escort Agency (Paper Princess Escorts) and I am just BLOWN AWAY by the number of callers who do not know who they are calling or which escort they would like to see.

Me: Hello, Paper Princess Escorts, how can I help you?

You: Hi, are you available?

Me: Yes, which girl which would you like to see?

You: I don’t know… the blonde one with big tits.

Me: Sorry we don’t have anyone like that right now.

You: oh. (awkward pause)…

What’s going on here guys? Do y’all just call/ text random numbers – or any girl on now/ backpage?

One time I had a very sweet, young gentleman come for an incall, hand me his money and toss me a pack of smokes. “Thanks,” I said “that’s my brand.” “You asked me to bring them, right?” Absolutely not. No one here has ever asked for that type of favour. Not that I’m complaining. I wish he would come back! (Sweet guy, good lay, brings smokes.) But seriously, who did he *think* he was seeing? Was I a disappointment? Was he blacklisted by some other escort/ agency for booking an appointment and being a no –show? Was he just psychic?

I was and still am baffled. As someone coming from a small business/ customer service background, I can’t imagine doing this! I can’t imagine calling a customer and asking “Who is this and what product were you looking for? I got this number from my customer directory.”

I know that many/ most clients pick an escort and hmmn and haw for days before calling, with a set list of questions/ requests. But who are YOU sir? Who are you calling and why don’t you know who you’re calling. Someone answer please.

I’m Carly, Paper Princess Escorts, waiting here for your answer.Image